Song in my Head: Kurgan’s Theme by Queen

Queen composed two soundtracks for cheesy ’80s movies that I adore and champion despite their myriad flaws. The first is FLASH (Ah-AAAH!!) Gordon, a terrific remake of the old serial. Thanks to classic performers Max von Sydow, Topol, Brian Blessed, Timothy Dalton, and Peter Wyngarde, it rises above the awful beef/cheesecake leads. And the amazing soundtrack keeps it centered.

The other film is HIGHLANDER, which is a running joke in many circles. Where do they hide those swords? Sean Connery is a Scot playing an Egyptian with a Spanish surname carrying a Japanese sword, and Frenchman Christopher Lambert plays the Scotsman. It’s hilarious and bizarre and you really shouldn’t care. The sequels can be safely ignored (WHAT sequels? LA LA LA) but the original is simply one of the best B pictures of the ’80s, better than the ninja flicks and anything by Chuck Norris. It wants to be Blade Runner, but it’s incredibly silly and just runs with it.

Clancy Brown as the Kurgan is an inspired performance, and the over the top swordplay, goofing on Cannon Group fanboys- Kurgan takes out a gun nut with a MAC-10 who plays vigilante, the film begins at a pro wrestling match- it really has a lot to offer and I’ve watched it countless times.

And this song is one of the best. “Princes of the Universe” is a close second. The entire Queen soundtrack is fantastic. This is where “Who Wants to Live Forever?” comes from. If you haven’t seen it, I’d suggest drinking yourself into a 13 year old’s mental faculties first, and buying a Nerf broadsword to flail around as you cheer the immortals in their quest for the ultimate power.