Tag Archives: Lawrence Block

Mystery or Crime Fiction? Less Filling.

Both Patti Abbott and Spinetingler editor Brian Lindemuth (at Do Some Damage) have asked whether you prefer Mysteries or Crime Fiction, both as a reader, and a writer, when it comes to labeling books.
It used to be that Crime Fiction was a subset to Mystery, and now the tables seem to be turning somewhat. Here is my long comment at DSD.

Almost every story has an element of mystery. What happens next? Parker is on a bridge and he tells a guy off. I like this guy. What’s he gonna do next? But that’s not a story of deduction. Is Tana French’s excellent Faithful Place allowed to be crime fiction? There’s a murder and we don’t know who did it. But her depiction of Dublin and her excellent characters are right out of Hammett or Chandler.

I like both mysteries and crime fiction. I consider Lawrence Block’s Bernie Rhodenbarr “Burglar” mysteries to be cozies. I can never keep up with the classifications that nerds keep narrowing down, whether it’s in music (no dude, that’s not shoegaze, it’s um, darkwave fartsniff dubstep!) or books or whatever. I can’t be bothered.

Let’s face it, Mystery and Crime Fiction are labels to sell a book. If it bothers you to see “Mystery” on a book you like, is it because you imagine Miss Marple or Jessica Fletcher and don’t want to be associated with fans of those stories?
Mystery lovers likely get the same shiver when they see Crime Fiction or Noir on a label, they know there may be foul language and testicles (probably severed ones).
It’s a marketing construct. I don’t like either label. “Crime Fiction” can certainly drive away readers who assume it’s all about serial killers and gumshoes wearing fedoras and talking like Bogart, just like “Mystery” may be dismissed as a puzzler to keep you occupied in the waiting room for the gastroenterologist.

What about “Suspense”? I hope your story has suspense, even if it’s “literary fiction.” But heavens forfend it be labeled a “thriller,” those are for reading on airplanes, right? Speaking of thrills, I’m thrilled when an author I like is in the good old Fiction section. Megan Abbott, Pete Dexter, Scott Phillips are all recent sightings. But I don’t mind wandering to the Mystery corner, like the “Adult” section of the video store (if you remember those) to get my kicks.

Like Colson Whitehead says about those who call genre fiction a guilty pleasure:

“Other people’s labels. Other people’s hang-ups.”

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Filed under Crime Fiction, Writing

Belly Up to the Bar with Lawrence Block

Lawrence Block should need no introduction. Author of the Matthew Scudder detective novels, the Bernie Rhodenbarr series of burglar mysteries, and standalone novels and short stories too numerous to mention, his most recent novel is HIT ME, starring everybody’s favorite hit man: Keller. Mr. Block is one of our greatest living storytellers, and I’m glad that he continues to write long into his self-professed retirement. If you haven’t read his work, the Hit Man series with Keller is a great place to begin.

Tom Pluck BeerTP: Welcome to Belly Up to the Bar, Larry. What can I get you?
 
 
 

Lawrence BlockLB: I’m good, Tom.
 
 
 

Tom Pluck BeerTP: The hit man is well-worn territory, but with Keller you’ve created one of the most likeable and believable killers in fiction. I knew a guy–to use the Jersey parlance–and Keller’s sense of calm, and his capability for calculated violence ring utterly true. There’s a sadness in the stories, as well. The loneliness of the job is the perfect foil for the excitement of the hunt and Dot’s acerbic sense of humor. So where did Keller come from, and what keeps you returning to tell his stories?

Lawrence BlockLB: Well, I had a story idea that turned into “Answers to Soldier.” Guy goes out to Oregon on business, makes the mistake of getting to know the quarry, has fantasies of quitting the business and making a life for himself similar to the guy’s, goes so far as to look at houses, then comes to his senses, kills the guy, and goes home. The hit man turned out to be Keller, and I wound up having a lot more to say about him.

HIT ME Lawrence Block

Tom Pluck BeerTP: When I pick up one of your books, I know I’m getting great dialogue. The latest Matthew Scudder novel, A Drop of the Hard Stuff, begins with a conversation between Matt and Mick Ballou that I could have read for the entire book. George V. Higgins said “Dialogue is character and character is plot.” Do you think it boils down to that, or is there something more to it?

Lawrence BlockLB: Well, it was true for Higgins. It depends enormously on the writer. Some of us are intensely visual, for example. They know what all the people in their books look like, see the rooms in their lives fully furnished. What I tend to know most about my characters is what they sound like, how they express themselves.

Snake Stamp

Tom Pluck BeerTP: You’ve traveled the world, but your fiction is mostly set in New York. Keller seems the most widely traveled of your creations. I read a lot of New York authors, but when Scudder is walking around town or Bernie is scoping a building, I feel not only like I’m there, but that I’ve lived there and know the town. Which I don’t, except as a Jersey invader. What keeps your stories in New York and the States, when you’ve visited so many exotic locales?

Lawrence BlockLB: New York has been home to me in a very fundamental way from the first time I came here. It’s as natural for me to have my characters live here as it is for me to live here myself. In the mid-80s my wife and I moved to South Florida, and I found myself wondering if I’d wind up setting most of my fiction there. I realized that I probably wouldn’t, that I had no real sense of the inner lives of people there. Thus I’d go on setting my stories in New York.

hit me stamps

Tom Pluck BeerTP: Keller’s stamp collecting has become almost as intriguing as his hits. I missed out on the last philatelic edition, but I snagged the one Mysterious Press is doing for HIT ME. (The philatelic edition is a special first edition that comes signed, with a special postage stamp affixed to the cover, and a souvenir sheet of stamps) I never collected stamps, but I did collect coins, then lost my collection to some unscrupulous movers. A pristine 1945-S Mercury dime will be my Rosebud, I imagine. There’s something about stamps, coins and bank notes besides the art and their monetary value–they’re tangible icons. I was a numismatist, and you’re a philatelist. Which both sound like kinky perversions, and to a degree they are. What stamps do you collect? Does Keller have your dream collection?

Lawrence BlockLB: Keller collects worldwide, 1840 to 1940, which his British Empire collection extending through the reign of George VI. Me too. How’s that for coincidence? Keller, of course, has a much better collection, because he had the sense to pick a far more lucrative profession.

Tom Pluck BeerTP: You’re a writer’s writer. I say that because you’ve written several books about writing that tell it straight, such as Telling Lies for Fun and Profit. One of my favorite quotes is when you respond to that ubiquitous cocktail party nightmare, the person who says they’d love to be a writer if they only had the time, as if it were a hobby, not a skill and a talent. You said no one says that to a pro ballplayer, and I took that to heart. Writers don’t get respect, and we’re often the last to get paid, if we get paid at all. Would you say that’s gotten better or worse?

Lawrence BlockLB: It’s probably stayed about the same. One difference is that people tend to think we’re rich. They read about the contracts a couple of people get and figure we all make that kind of money. I remember Evan Hunter telling me how some clown from some college explainded that, for a donation of a mere ten million dollars, they could build a new dormitory and name it after him. “What kind of money do they think we make?” he marveled. On a lesser scale, but just barely, some well-meaning fool once advised me to charter a private plane for my book tours. Jesus. You go to some town, spend two hours in a bookstore, sign twenty books, with translates into what, $60 in royalties? It’s absurd enough for a publisher to fly you in coach, which is why book tours are finally coming to an inglorious end, but charter a fucking airplane?

Kukri Stamp

Tom Pluck BeerTP: You’ve always been one of the most tech-savvy writers I know. You had your email address in your books 20 years ago. And in your fiction, you manage to get the reality of computers and cell phones into the stories without making them linchpins of the plot, where the tension hinges on how many bars of signal someone has. I liked how TJ was the go-to character for the non-technical Scudder. That worked, you acknowledged the Internet but kept his feet on the ground. People have arguments about cell phones in mystery stories. Do you think technology leaches the tension out of a mystery?

Lawrence BlockLB: I think it might. It certainly performs that function for life itself. Nobody gets to be alone anymore.
 
 

Tom Pluck BeerTP: You’ve taken self-publishing head-on, releasing short stories, backlist titles written under pen names, and two short story collections: one of Matthew Scudder tales and another of Ehrengraf, the only lawyer I truly enjoy reading about. If you were a beginning writer, would you take advantage of self-publishing, or do you think the traditional route remains the best way to establish yourself?

Lawrence BlockLB: I’m not sure I know the answer, and it’ll change in ten minutes anyway, given the current pace of change in and out of publishing. But from where I stand (well, sit, actually) self-publishing certainly appears to be the way the world is moving. It’s the best choice for an increasing number of writers—and it’s often the only choice.

Tom Pluck BeerTP: Thank you for indulging my questions. Before you go, what would you like for your last meal?
 
 

Lawrence BlockLB: Treacle.

 
 
 
 

HIT ME is now available in the philatelic edition from LB’s bookstore, and his website is as you’d expect, LawrenceBlock.com

BW Beer Mug

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Filed under Belly up to the Bar, Books, Crime Fiction

Salute These Shorts

I love short stories. Otherwise I wouldn’t write them, because they are a pain in the ass. Sure, you can get the whole idea in your head at once, but there’s no room for error. So when I read a great one, I sit in awe. Here are a few of my favorites. What are yours?

The Creature from the Cleveland Depths, by Fritz Leiber

This one felt silly when I first read it, but now that we have cell phones, ol’ Fritz is laughing in his grave.

In the Cemetery Where Al Jolson is Buried, by Amy Hempel

Amy Hempel paints pain so beautifully, without ever using fancy brushes.

The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas, by Ursula K. LeGuin

An incredible fable that puts civilization in perspective and asks us why we can’t walk away.

The Gentle Way, by Lawrence Block (available in his collection “Enough Rope”)

Mr. Block writes damn fine short stories. This one, about an animal shelter dealing with a vandal, resonates deeply. His excellent story “See the Woman” is available online.

Placebo, by Andrew Vachss (Available in his collection “Born Bad,” and also in Protectors: Stories to Benefit PROTECT.) You can read the also-excellent “Working Roots” free here on his website.

Placebo is a pared down work of great power. Working Roots is a gritty urban fairy tale. I wish Andrew Vachss would write a novel about these kids.

Houston, Houston Do You Read? by James Tiptree, Jr. aka Alice Sheldon.

How do you end violence? The answer is simple, if unpleasant.

Speech Sounds, by Octavia Butler
The last Ms. Butler is interviewed by Charlie Rose here:

The late, great Ms. Butler captures the terror of a true apocalypse and losing the power to communicate in this gut puncher.

The Man from the South, by Roald Dahl

One of my favorite horror tales. You’ll be clutching your fingers!

The Chaser, by John Collier

One of the funniest and best short story writers, Collier is oft forgotten but has many lessons to teach writers today and many joys to bring readers for centuries hence.

The Appointment in Samarra, by Somerset Maugham

A classic bit of flash fiction.

Why I Live at the P.O., by Eudora Welty

A great picture of a family from one of its loony members.

A Good Man is Hard to Find, by Flannery O’Connor

If you don’t like this story, hit yourself in the face.

Who Goes There? by John W. Campbell

The inspiration for “The Thing,” this one is terrifying on a cellular level.

“I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream,” by Harlan Ellison. He has written a ridiculous amount of great short stories. How to choose one? This has always been the most memorable to me. A supercomputer destroys humanity in retribution for creating him–a genius who cannot truly move, feel or love– but he saves five individuals to torture for eternity. Misanthropy at its most dire. A close second is “The Paladin of the Lost Hour,” a wonderful fantasy story about a man who guards the “clock” that keeps the world from doomsday, and how he shares a moment with a veteran wracked with survivor’s guilt. The first is available in the collection of the same name, the second is in “Angry Candy.” I am also fond of the entire collection :”Deathbird Stories,” especially the title story, which retells Genesis from Satan’s–I mean “Snake’s” point of view.

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Patience and Marshmallows

I’d like to talk about the virtue of patience and how it pertains to being a writer.

First things first: who the hell is this guy to give advice? He’s written a few dozen stories, and self-published an anthology. I’m not giving advice. I want to start a discussion about something that has come up a lot in the writing community on the ol’ internet.

Patience, or lack thereof.

I grew up raised by worriers.  My Grams lit candles whenever we traveled from home, and in catechism, I learned that all the tragedies in my past and future were punishments for trespasses that I had thought about committing. I try my best to realize that every bad thing that occurs is not karma for some past or future transgression. It becomes difficult to do anything, with that kind of hang-up.

The other thing I learned in Catholic school was that it was better to be punished for doing something than for something you didn’t do. So if the whole class was going to be punished for goofing around, I made sure I was doing the goofing. This has made me someone who would rather act than stand by. And while I don’t consider myself that busy or prolific, this neurosis has given me the blessing of output. What does this have to do with that poor dog with the treat on his nose?

Patience. I used to be very impatient about writing and being published. I would submit to markets who responded quickly. I didn’t want to wait. I wanted to be published right now, dammit! And a few editors could tell you that I wrote stories for them overnight to apologize for not reading the guidelines about simultaneous submissions (Thank you for your understanding, David and Aldo). So, I learned early that impatience only brings embarrassment and tears. And I am thankful for the lesson.

Now, one must strike when the iron is hot. And opportunity knocks but once. But be sure that what you hear is a knock, and not your own belly rumbling with hunger for glory.

I don’t talk much about self-publishing vs. traditional. I think it has become less of a business decision than a personal crusade for some evangelists, and has become as pleasant to discuss as politics. Which is to say I’d rather toast my own danglies in a waffle iron than jump into the discussion, at this point. So I will approach it from the angle of patience, because I’ve seen too many good writers make mistakes due to a lack of it.

I’ve read of a couple short story collections and one self-published novel being pulled and re-released due to copy-editing errors. The writers made effusive apologies, offered the book free, told all their Facebook friends and blogger buddies to download the new copy. But the cat is out of the bag, and the readers they hoped to reach- the ones who don’t follow them on Twitter or read their blog already- have gotten a Shit Sandwich. And even if they do download the new version, they’ll remember this.

Of course, we’ve all read traditionally published books with errors. The e-book of Neal Stephenson’s REAMDE was pulled for egregious mistakes. But it doesn’t make up for the fact that you only get one chance to make a first impression. Do you want the priceless word of mouth to be, “That book was great,” or “I’m never buying one of his books again”?

There are more examples of impatience: Querying a press with your novel, then self-publishing it a few weeks later. Not submitting to markets who take over 30 days to respond. Self-publishing merely to avoid the grueling process of submitting queries to editors or agents, then waiting up to 18 months or more for your book to be published, if everything goes well.

The real question is: Do you want one marshmallow now, or three marshmallows later?

That link goes to Kristine Rusch writing on the Stanford Delayed Gratification Experiment, where children were offered one marshmallow now, but told if they didn’t eat it, they could have two marshmallows later. I know, I want a marshmallow now, don’t you? Well, wait for it.

Kris Rusch uses this experiment to show why we will take a “big” advance now, vs. the slow steady sales that can be achieved through self-publishing. But I’m going to flip that argument. I think a lot of new writers self-publish because they can’t wait to eat that marshmallow. Not a money marshmallow, but one of gratification at hearing their friends (and hopefully some new readers) tell them how much they liked their book. And I think a lot of the time we should wait, to get more marshmallows.

Ms. Rusch is a pro, and her Business Rusch blog is great reading. I like reading her posts because she is somewhat balanced and shrewd in judging traditional vs. self publishing. She may seem like she isn’t, because she calls out the big boys on their terrible accounting, bullying contracts, and otherwise non-agile business performance, but that is because she has self-respect. She is a professional, and demands to be treated as such. And I can’t think of anything wrong with behaving that way, from the time you submit your first story for publication.

Kris Rusch has self-published, and has many books with traditional publishers. She makes a choice on each book. It is a business decision, not a religion, or changing the world. It is not a knife in the back of bookstores, fighting the gatekeepers, or giving the big bully Amazon the defiant middle finger. It is no more political than choosing a credit union over a multinational bank (though that too, has been politicized).

If you read Ms. Rusch’s post, she lays out a very convincing argument to self-publish, when comparing money made vs. advances paid, on average. If you write, read that post. It will inform your decisions. But keep an open mind, and don’t act out of impatience. If you want to write a series character, you might not want to self-publish, if you are doing so to get the attention of a traditional publisher. They don’t want book #4 in your series. They want book #1, and they’re not going to publish it if it’s… already published.

And… editing is essential. Not just copy-editing. Editing. Find someone who will be honest with you, or pay a pro. They are out there. Check their references. If your stories were all published in well-edited zines, that’s great. Edit them again, you’d be amazed how many typos slip past multiple sets of eyes. Ask Lawrence Block, who found half a sentence repeated in a novel that was published three times and proofread each time.

This is the age of instant gratification. But to quote an old commercial… Make no wine before its time. Remember when writers used to have novels they left in a drawer? Maybe writing this novel was practice, if everything thinks your book stinks on ice. Do you want to send it out there, like an embarrassing childhood photo? That is a serious consideration. A reader is unlikely to forgive you and see if your second book got a whole lot better.

I force myself to sit on a story for a week before I edit it again and send it out. It hurts, like someone is spooling my intestines out on a spindle. But it pays off, when I’m stuffing my face with the marshmallows of acceptance. I rewrote my first novel, gutted over half of it, and this version is being gutted again. I had entire chapters describing the past in great detail, when one sucker punch of a line could do the job… but enough about that.

I have a long way to go and a lot to learn. But I have learned some patience, and it has served me very well. I may self-publish a story collection, with a new Jay Corso story, after he debuts in Needle. I am editing my first novel, and will be querying agents and editors this year. If no one asks for edits, and rejects it outright… who knows, I may self-publish. But it won’t be because I can’t wait to see what people think. It will be because that is what I’ve decided is best. And I’ll damn sure be writing my next novel as soon as I’m done editing this one.

From what I can see, it’s like fighting. You need to strike when opportunity presents itself. But you sure as hell don’t throw a punch just to get it over with.

I used to do that, as well. I had a straight nose, once.

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My Local – Watchung Booksellers

The death of the independent bookstore has been greatly exaggerated.

Some are having hard times, and some are closing. But imagine my surprise when I walked into my local, the excellent Watchung Booksellers, and found that they will be closing next week.

TO EXPAND.

Now, that’s the kind of news a writer and a book lover finds joyful. I’ve known the bookmongers and proprietors for nearly twenty years, and they run a great shop with a sprawling children’s section, a meaty mystery department, and they’ve had everyone from Jenny Milchman and Dennis Tafoya to the one and only Lawrence Block signing and speaking there. All in a very efficiently used, and to dip into realtor parlance, charming and cozy space.

It’s a small store. I’ve been in smaller bookshops, but I can’t recall them, and I think they’re all in bookstore heaven now. So I am thrilled to see them taking over space from next door and embiggening themselves.

I stopped in to pick up Sara Gran’s Claire DeWitt and the City of the Dead, on the urgent recommendation of Matthew Funk, and snagged Night Soldiers by Alan Furst, after hearing about his ambitious series of linked novels set in the run-up to the Second World War. They have impeccable taste- meaning they carry books I love by friends and other authors I admire- and they’ve sold a few copies of the Lost Children Anthology, which is available from them locally and via mail order, if you like supporting indie bookstores.

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Lawrence Block signed book raffle!

I’ve had the blessing to work with many hard-working and generous people since we embarked on this project. One of them is Seamus Bellamy, who contributed the excellent story “Larry” to volume one of the Lost Children charity anthology. Seamus purchased three SIGNED first editions of crime writing legend Lawrence Block’s book After Hours, and we are raffling them off for the next ten days!
Anyone who buys the anthology, either for Kindle or in paperback, email the Amazon or Createspace receipt to this address: tpluck+lostchildrenbooks@gmail.com to be entered into the raffle. There are three chances to win:
If you’ve already purchased the book, buy one as a gift. PROTECT and Children 1st UK will thank you!
(The book is currently in the Kindle Select program, but if you require it in Nook or any other e-book format, I will e-mail you those editions upon request, and assist you with transferring it to your e-reader.)
From Seamus:
Anyone that buys Lost Children: A Charity Anthology between June 6th and Saturday June 16th will be entered in a draw to win one of three signed hardcover copies of After Hours: Conversations with Lawernce Block. They’re first editions. Don’t try and tell me you don’t want one. 

In doing so, you’ll be helping out a pair of great charities, wind up with a great anthology, and if you’re lucky, a signed hardcover copy of a book that lets you take a boo at the mind of one of noir fiction’s greatest living legends. 

It ain’t no velveteen day, but it sure as hell ain’t a poke in the eye either, now is it? Get to giving and good luck in the draw!
If you can’t see your way to agreeing with me that stripping the innocence right out of an innocent kids isn’t the worst kind of crime that this dogshit world of ours has to offer, then we’ve got nothing else to talk about. While most of us bop through our days oblivious to the abuse inflicted on so many of the kids on a daily basis, a few tenacious souls are strong enough to do something about it. Tommy Pluck’s one of those. Last year, Tommy and Fiona Johnson put together Lost Children: A Charity Anthology. It’s a book that I was proud to contribute to, and one that you should be proud to buy. Y’see, all proceeds from the book are donated to PROTECT: The National Association to Protect Children and Children 1st Scotland –Two fine charities that work endlessly to protect the kids that the rest of us are too wrapped up in our own lives to keep safe or too damn oblivious to see as needing protection. 
Seamus Bellamy is a warlord, author and journalist who’s work appears frequently in print and online. You’ll find his portfolio and other undesirable things at www.seamusbellamy.com
Thank you, Seamus!
-Tom and the LC crew

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That’s a Lulu – Grift #1

I neglected to share the purchase link for GRIFT #1, John Kenyon’s new quarterly which includes my short story “Six Feet Under God.”

Here’s where you get Grift #1
It’s now 15% off. Grab it and a couple copies of Needle Magazine, and the Off the Record Anthology by Luca Veste, which contains my story “Freedom Bird” that broke some hearts and made grown men cry.

It has stories and articles by Lawrence Block, Ken Bruen, Ray Banks, Scott Phillips, Matthew C. Funk, Chris F. Holm, Keith Rawson, Court Merrigan, Alec Cizak, Todd Robinson, Craig McDonald, Jack Bates, and a little plucky plucker named Thomas Pluck.

© 2012 Thomas Pluck
I post on Twitter as TommySalami ~ My Facebook Page

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Grift Magazine – Six Feet Under God

“God is dead, and no one’s doing anything about it. Except me.”
-Kelsey Flinthoof, private dick, in “Six Feet Under God”

That’s from my story in the inaugural issue of GRIFT MAGAZINE by John Kenyon, now available from Lulu Press.
Grift Magazine #1

Not only do you get my postmodern meta-hardboiled tale that begins on Easter Sunday and ends with philosophers, scientists prophets and theologians giving up answers beneath the barrage of Kelsey’s two fists and the blast of his 45.

Buy Grift #1 and you’ll also get fiction from Ken Bruen, Matthew Funk, Keith Rawson, Todd Robinson and Alec Cizak; articles by Lawrence Block, Ray Banks, Scott Phillips, Chris Rhatigan, Julie Morrigan and an interview with Chris Offutt by editor John Kenyon.

It’s a hell of a start to a quarterly, and I’m proud to be in it.

© 2012 Thomas Pluck
I post on Twitter as TommySalami ~ My Facebook Page

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The Seven Words You Can’t Say in Crime Fiction

I’m over at The Crime Factory talking about cussin’ in crime fiction. I believe cursing has its place. It will not elevate a mediocre story, nor will it drag a great story into the manure pile.
Here’s what I have to say. Also includes my pitch for Lawrence Block’s next Bernie Rhodenbarr novel.

I’m also over at Richard Godwin‘s Chin Wag at the Slaughterhouse shooting the shit.
Richard writes excellent dark fiction, and his novel Apostle Rising is no exception.

© 2011 Thomas Pluck

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Nut Up or Shut Up… Goals and Accomplishments

I’m very grateful for an amazing year. I’d like to thank my family and friends, most of all my wife Sarah, for all your support. I’d also like to thank all the writers and readers I’ve met over the last year. I’ve made some great new friends, and got back with some old ones.

I’m far from done with my goals as a writer. But I’ve covered more ground than I ever thought possible in a year. I’m beginning to understand the phrase make your own luck. I used to think it meant fixing the odds, breaking the rules. But all it means is working hard toward your goals. I’ve seen it time and time again with writers I’ve met over the last year. They’ve struggled and kept busting their behinds, and are reaping the rewards of that hard work.

My resolution is to keep on working hard and aiming high. One goal is to complete my first novel and get it published. I have a second book of the Lost Children anthology in the works. The writers have been chosen and you’ll see it next autumn. It will be bigger, with many more voices joining the cause to support The National Association to Protect Children. I’d like to write more short stories and crack some new markets. My goal last year was to get in as many different venues as possible, and this year I am going to concentrate on some big targets such as Alfred Hitchock and Ellery Queen, Hardboiled, The Strand, Shock Totem, and so on. However, a goal is something within your control. Dean Wesley Smith and my friend & personal trainer Peter V. Dell’Orto both have good posts about setting attainable goals. Here are my attainable goals.

1) Write every day. Writing, and getting back to writing, are not daunting tasks. I will set aside more time to write and not follow distractions.
2) I will write the best stories I can and continue to keep them constantly in one editor’s hands or another’s. They will never lie fallow.
3) I will write the best novel I can. I will edit it diligently. I will not rewrite it for rewriting’s sake.
4) I will find the editors and agents of the writers I admire most, who have accepted work most like my own, and I will get my novel in their hands before year’s end.
5) I will not be a slave to my anger and I focus my rage on the page. 
6) I will go to MMA class once per week.
7) I will resume a healthier diet… beer is not a food group.

You set goals and they become accomplishments. Here are my accomplishments of 2011, in vague order. And a few great things that happened that were outside my control, but made me happy.

January.
Completed my first novel, The Garage. Drawer fodder. Currently rewriting it, using the characters and concepts I developed in this 115,000 word monster born of NaNoWriMo 2010.

February.
Wrote my first short stories in ten years.

March.
First story published in ten years, Punk Dad Manifesto, at the Morning News… And was paid for it!
Married my Firecracker, Sarah. Love of my life, who keeps me centered and in line. Had a beautiful wedding and a wonderful time with friends and family, and a relaxing honeymoon with my new wife.

April.
Began writing for flash fiction challenges, met Fiona “McDroll” Johnson online and she told me to submit my work to crime venues. Pointed me to the magnanimous Sandra Seamans, who lists all the markets. I began reading them all, finding many new-to-me writers and all sorts of inspiration. I never forget to thank Fiona Johnson for that first kick in the ass. I wouldn’t be writing the way I do today if it wasn’t for her.
This led to 33 stories accepted in 2011, appearing in anthologies and journals alongside Lawrence Block, Wayne Dundee, Ray Banks, and many, many other writers whose work I admire.

May.
First crime story published in Shotgun Honey, “The Last Sacrament.”
I met Lawrence Block at a signing at Watchung Booksellers. Since then we’ve chatted online and at the Mysterious Bookshop. One of our great living writers and a hell of a guy, it’s always humbling to meet your literary heroes.

June.
Rode on the Star Ledger Munchmobile with Peter Genovese and crew, got my picture in the state newspaper stuffing my face with a sandwich.
Made print in The Utne Reader, when they reprinted Punk Dad Manifesto.

July.
Ron Earl Phillips asked me to be a moderator at Flash Fiction Friday.
My story “A Glutton for Punishment” debuted at Beat to a Pulp, and Lawrence Block not only read it, but commented on it. A few short words that still mean a lot to me. Thanks, Mr. Block.

August.
“Rain Dog” published in Crimespree #43, first crime story in print.
Wrote back and forth with Harlan Ellison, another literary hero and influence, who tells readers not to write to him. But always replies.

September.
Won the First place Bullet Award for my story “Black Eyed Susan,” which was also favorably reviewed by James Reasoner and hardboiled legend Wayne Dundee.
I ask Fiona Johnson to write a fiction cue for Flash Friday and she comes up with the Lost Children Challenge.

October.
Pulp Modern #1 released, putting me twixt the same covers as Lawrence Block.
Made tons of friends in the crime fiction community online and at Bouchercon. Most of all Josh Stallings and Sabrina Ogden, who felt like old friends, but also Glenn Gray, Christa Faust, Matthew Funk, Johnny Shaw and Kent Gowran. We joke that crime writers are the friendliest bunch of murder-minded mothers around, but it really is true. Everyone I met was friendly, from Harlan Coben to Joelle Charbonneau, even when I was a babbling idiot.

Visited Italy with Sarah, experienced the ruins of Pompeii, the bustle of Napoli, the decadence of Capri, the old and new of Rome, and spent time with our friends David and Courtney. Everyone needs a break, and someday I’ll write about a chase through Pozzuoli between a tourist and the Gomorra to write this off as research. Hell, my honeymoon trip inspired my longest short story, “White People Problems,” which will be at All Due Respect this year, and be expanded into a novel … eventually. I really want to introduce you to Bobby and the Five Stages of Grief… you’ll get a taste soon at ADR.

November.
Published Lost Children: a Charity Anthology to support PROTECT, and spoke to Executive Director  Grier Weeks about the project.
Corresponded with another hero, of mine, Andrew Vachss. We’d written before, but never so often. A pat on the shoulder from a veteran warrior in the fight against child abuse and exploitation, who became a lawyer and an incredible writer to fight this fight… well, it means more than I feel comfortable sharing.

December.
I deadlifted 555lbs and I benched 260lbs. I pursue goals other than writing. I added 60lbs to my deadlift and began benching again after tearing both my rotator cuffs two years ago. I surpassed my old record of 250 on the bench. All by adding 5lbs a month using the 5/3/1 lifting regimen. A slog, but with great results. Last year I was deadlifting 400lbs for 10 reps. Now I’m lifting 510lbs for 5. And I stopped a falling refrigerator with my chin.

I’ll diverge because it amuses me. Pulp queen Christa Faust got a kick out of me crowing about my personal record and said we should fight crime as Max Deadlift and Pixie Cockpunch. We shall see. She’s a busy writer with a lot of irons in the fire, but I just might suggest a collaboration…

I made quite a few best-of lists for short story. According to the readers, my best stories are Black-Eyed Susan, Shogun Honey, Candle, The Forest for the Trees, Junkyard Dog, and Legacy of Brutality.

We sold 150 copies of the Lost Children Anthology in 2 months.

It’s been a hell of a year. I’m sure I’ve missed some. And I could have expended as many words thanking everyone by name. Thank you for reading, and spreading the word. Writing is the most solitary art. The feedback is delayed and muted, so when someone takes the time to tell you they liked what you wrote, it has great effect, no matter how we try to make our response as cool as can be.

So, don’t make resolutions. They sound like U.N. agenda items, and we know how useful they are, with China and the Sudan on the human rights committee. Set realistic and attainable goals, with milestones and measurable markers of success. “Eat better” means little. “Don’t go back for seconds, and do not snack after dinner, and walk 30 minutes a day” is controllable, and will guarantee results. Eight years ago I weighed nearly 400 pounds. I began by walking an hour a night, and not eating bread and sweets. A year later I’d lost 140 pounds. Every day adds up. If you fail, get up immediately… don’t give up. What’s one day of missing your targets out of 366? Nothing. A pittance.

Here’s wishing you all a happy new year… now get to work on making it that way. 

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