Knight Rider, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. Michael Knight, a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law.
The original intro for a li’l 80’s nostalgia.
The new show’s trailer.
First of all, KITT is now a Mustang because the Firebird isn’t produced anymore. The Camaro is coming out again in a year or two, and the Trans Am will surely follow, but they have lost the coveted mantle. Unfortunately they decided to rice KITT up, starting with a GT500 and putting a double wing on the back. The car is now has a shell of “nanobytes,” so can self-repair, change colors, but can’t tint the windows. “Hey, that blue Mustang with the people we’re looking for in it… let them pass. We’re looking for a black Mustang.”
The car’s healing powers only work when KITT kisn’t being hacked by guys wearing horn-rimmed glasses. You’d think KITT would have used ZoneAlarm or set his wireless router to block by MAC address, but he’s not quite that advanced. He probably has a Mac for brains. Which explains his niftly titanium case, that can repel bullets:
It can also repel SUVs, like this Ford Expedition. The only good guy in the truck survives because he’s wearing his seatbelt, and because of the Passenger side air bag, and because it’s a Ford! All the cars are Fords now. In the original show, Fords were the bad guys. They sent red ’84 Thunderbirds after him with missile launchers in the grill. It was a two-part episode, and we were all very worried for poor KITT. Now he can shrug off a collision as long as his “nanobytes” are active.
He’s the son of Michael Knight, maybe he’ll use the right name later. Oops, spoiler. Like you didn’t see it coming! The Hoff shows up for his cameo, looking good enough to beat the shit out of this pretender and star in the show himself. Years of German Fraulein fangirls and the accompanying favors haven’t been too rough on the guy. The funny thing is that he is standing by this pond when he suddenly appears, and slips away just as stealthily. I know he’s a man who does not exist, on a shadowy flight through a dangerous world, but he rises from the waters like Excalibur and inexplicably seems to return to the pond from whence he came.
Hasselhoff looks somewhere between Mickey Rourke and Jan Michel-Vincent with a dash of Ray Liotta, bloodied but unbowed.
KITT has some serious design flaws. First is the double rear wing that you get at Pep Boys for your lowered Corolla with his fart-can muffler and blue light-up washer nipples. The second is his serious set of eyebrows over the headlights, which make him look like he’s upset or someone stuck a potato in his tailpipes.
The distinct lack of the terms Turbo Boost and Micro-Jam were refreshing. Now they just say “hack” and KITT cannot do Dukes of Hazzard jumps at all. The technology, despite having “nanobytes,” is a little behind. The ear mikes everyone has are from an 80’s prop depot. Not quite as bad as this cutting-edge Cellular Mobile Phone and Digital Floppy Drive Camera, but close:
It’s pretty funny that a car that can change colors and stuff doesn’t have bluetooth, fercrissakes. The technical reality is around “24” level where you just need to open a socket to the node and download the satellite to your cel phone. Anything is better than what Knight Rider eventually became, right before it drove away to where 80’s childhood dreams go to die. I spent a lot of time trying to come up with a cool Knight Rider based driving game, and was sorely disappointed that they never made an arcade or 8-bit computer game based on it. Or on Whiz Kids. Stupid 80’s.