This… is… Serious!

We could make you delirious
You should have a healthy fear of us
Too much of us is dangerous!

We’re not candy!
Even though we look so fine and dandy,
When you’re sick we come in handy,
But! We’re not candy!
Ohhhhhh no!

When I Was Your Age, We didn’t have no Anti-Drugs. This was long before your brain on drugs was sunny side up with a side of bacon, and even before Nancy told us to just say No. They didn’t even bother trying to keep us away from illegal drugs! They knew we’d be making supercollider megabongs in metal shop as soon as we hit high school, so they didn’t even bother. Go ahead and play with your parents’ funny-smelling pipe and the oregano hidden in the water clock, just stay away from the colorful little pills. They’re not a natural high. I think that silly commercial even made us more interested in finding Grandma’s magical talking pills.

That commercial even got referenced in a Busta Rhymes song.

The 70’s and early 80’s were a magical time. Sex was like a video game; if like Pac-Man, you got hit by one of the four ghosts of VD, the Clap, Space Herpes, or the Syph, you put in another quarter and got a shot at the doctor’s, to start a new game. Then in 1985 the CIA invented AIDS and ruined it for all of us. Those were the days.