Cable Quickies: Anaconda

Sometimes movies are so knowingly stupid that they are great fun. Snakes on a Plane is the most recent example, it knows it’s stupid- or at least Samuel L. Jackson does- and it manages to be predictably entertaining. Before that there was another killer snake movie, and I will daresay a better one: Anaconda. Sure we only get one snake, on a boat, but at one point this snake will be on fire and still trying to kill people, out of pure malice. That’s one bad motherfuckin’ snake.
Plus we get the first realization that Jon Voight will act in anything, long before he became Michael Bay’s go-to guy for “we need some old dude to make this shit believable.” Here he plays a Brazilian snake hunter, who a boat full of scientists- including J.Lo and Ice Cube, cough- run into on their travels on the Amazon. He wants to capture one of the river’s anacondas, and for the movie, they are a hundred feet long and capable of swallowing a man whole, spitting him out half-digested, and eating him again for good measure. This movie is supremely stupid, but it knows it, and manages to be decent fun throughout. It’s up there with Deep Rising– good gross-out action fare, but nothing you’d want to pay for.

Rating: “Enh”

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4 thoughts on “Cable Quickies: Anaconda

  1. Ahem! I’ll ask you not to cough at the degrees of either Dr. Cube or Dr. Lo.Their research into Giant Flaming Anacondas has been without peer in the field of Giantsnakological Studies.

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