The Tunnel of Terror

It’s been nearly ten years since I visited the Tunnel of Terror in St. Paul with pals Neener Gannon and Pate Natrin, of Demorama. It was our favorite haunted house amusement. It was held in a sandy cave along the Mississippi River in St. Paul, with gory exhibits and gleeful costumed freaks leaping out, following you in line and slipping in among you, to scare the living shit out of you. Sadly it has closed due to fire regulations, since 2005.
That was our Halloween ritual, parking in a lot by the river in an industrial area that’s gentrifying now; getting shuttled in rickety old school buses to the cave site, waiting in interminably long lines and scarfing down bags of mini sugar donuts to pass the time. It was worth every second of it! Corny? Of course. But it was a blast. The folks involved really made it a good time, and you’d be sure to have girls clutching you in fear throughout the tunnel tour. Even strangers. It was hilarious. I scream like a little girl in these situations, but I’m big and scary looking so dames naturally clutch me for dear life when ghouls pop out of the shadows. Happens all the time.
The fire department closed them down because there was no second exit in case of fire. Of course not, it’s a cave! Then again, most caves don’t have lots of flammable sets and lighting. It was a great haunted house, and all we have now are memories and some photos. Let it never be forgotten in the annals of horror.
Thankfully that shirt is now very baggy on me and I can zip that jacket, 130 pounds later… and I guess I lied about not doing Halloween posts. Of course I’ll do that. Just no movie marathons. My fragile blogger bones cannot handle it in my advanced age.

3 thoughts on “The Tunnel of Terror

  1. Nice scary monster face. :) We would go to a corn maze in the middle of nowhere rural Louisiana. There were guys with chainsaws jumping out at you. I actually came up on one looking the other way and scared him. Ahh good times. Oh and i got yelled at by an official for trying to go through the corn instead of through the cut paths. Rebel.

  2. Wow! 130 pounds? Well done. I was going to comment on how cool the Tunnel of Terror looks but now I just have to say congrats. Hope you still have the jacket though.

Comments are closed.