Donkey Dick

“Donkey dick” is what soldiers call any big tool that resembles… you know. I have a story with that title in the latest issue of Big Pulp, the Spring 2013 issue.

big pulp

When I was a kid growing up on my grandmother’s street, there was a guy named Augie who everyone called Mr. Sashweight.  It sounded like a German name to me, but it wasn’t. It was because if he wore shorts in the summer, children had to gave their eyes shielded from his grotesque bulging member. We never caught a peek. The only snake we saw was in old Joe’s garden, when he killed it with a hoe and the whole neighborhood came to see it.

Things were a bit slower in the ’70s. I didn’t get the “sash weight” name until my grandma got new windows and they took out the ones that had sash weights. They look like this:

a whole lotta donkey dicks
a whole lotta donkey dicks

We liked to throw them like boomerangs that smashed junked cars and never came back. I’m glad I never tried tying two together to make nunchucks. I’d surely have smashed my own face in (some day I’ll tell ya how I got a black eye while trying to smash a lock open–oh wait, I just did). Anyhow, “Donkey Dick” is about “Boog” Magnusson, a bouncer at a punk club in Frogtown  neighborhood of St. Paul, and what he does when he’s tired of being dicked around.

Big Pulp has a big IndieGogo campaign to generate operating expenses for the year. They are a slick journal that pays writers, and deserve your support. Right now the only way to get this issue is here at the IndieGogo page. Good news is, whether they meet their goals or not, you’ll get your copy.

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