To quote my friend Susan Schorn, reading bell hooks “is a life-changing experience.” And her book The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love, was a changer for me. Men are as wounded by patriarchy as women; we are taught to crush half our selves, and our roles are as rigidly enforced, if not moreso, than women’s. She does not absolve men of bad behavior but helps us see the damage we’ve endured and continue to inflict, and offers paths to wholeness that build us up rather than destroy our foundations. There can be competitiveness and strength without basing our worth on them. An instructive and liberating read.