Modern masculinity has been confused by marketers, men’s “rights” groups, and political agendas. We need an inclusive definition based on facts, not wishful thinking of paleolithic eras or apologetic agendas that mimic the “man up” and “be a man” shaming that encourages boys and men toward behavior without accountability.
Equality is not a zero sum game, and shedding our entitlement of acting with impunity is the first step toward a truer egalitarianism.
This space will be for talking honestly. It is hard to be a man these days; but it’s hard to be anybody. Change is never easy, but when it is inevitable, humans do what we’ve always done: adapt.
A few articles on coming to terms with modern manhood:
Confronting the Devil on Your Shoulder
The Little Gold Colt
The Rape Joke Everyone Tolerates
Five Things Every Self-Respecting Man Over 30 Needs. And 40 He Doesn’t
Are Men Committing Slow Motion Suicide?
How Do We Define Modern Masculinity?
To quote my friend Susan Schorn, reading bell hooks “is a life-changing experience.” And her book The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love, was the changer for me. Men are as wounded by patriarchy as women; we are taught to crush half our selves, and our roles are as rigidly enforced, if not moreso, than women’s. She does not absolve men of bad behavior but helps us see the damage we’ve endured and continue to inflict, and offers paths to wholeness that build us up rather than destroy our foundations. There can be competitiveness and strength without basing our worth on them. An instructive and liberating read.